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Poster: johnsteve Date: Sep 23, 2004 10:29pm
Forum: movie_of_the_week Subject: Vlad the movie

So Mike shows me a movie trailer by the name of "Vlad". Wow, this movie looks like a bone chilling thriller about vampires. And hell, I’ve always been intrigued by the story of Vlad "The Impaler", aka Vlad Dracula, the historic figure Bram Stoker made famous. So yes, how could I not do this review?

Starting off with John Rhys-Davies (You know, Gimli from Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones, and a billion other things) doing a narrative on the history of Vlad. The story then starts with Brad Dourif’s character choosing four students to go to Romania based on their thesis essays. Wait! This film has another star from "Lord of the Rings"? This movie has got to be sweet.

So luckily these students get none other than Billy Zane (Titanic anyone?) to guide them through Romania. Well I’m only 3 minutes into the movie and look at all this excitement. No worry, that’s the last of the excitement I’m going to see in this movie. So the students get to their hotel rooms in Romania, and have a ninja jump out and attack with a fore arm chop, leaving you asking "Did that ninja skip ninjitsu class?" After the ninja’s terrible display of martial arts, he gets beat up and runs away never to explain why there was a ninja to begin with. What the hell is this crap? At least the girl has a bath scene afterwards. And why wouldn’t she have a nice hot steamy bath after being attacked by a ninja that was hiding in her room? I know I would.

his movie tries to sell itself with the slogan "there are things worse than death". Well who would have thought it to be the movie itself? The movie tries to paint a different portrait on vampires, using the original inspiration that Bram Stoker used. Luckily Bram Stoker didn’t end up with a story as good as liver cancer. With a movie based on a man noted for torturing and killing tens of thousands of people, there was a surprising lack of blood and death. I thought this was a horror movie? I’ve seen more killing in an episode of G.I. Joe damnit. The only thing scary about this movie is that someone thought it was a good idea.

So why would anyone go see this movie? Well Vlad is a must see for any horror fan who faints at the sight of blood. Because in this horror movie there is none. Also a good reason to see Vlad is if you are a die hard Lord of the Rings fan, and have to see every movie, that the entire cast has ever done.

At first I thought the real Vlad, would be rolling in his grave over this movie. Then I came to realize, he probably enjoys that his name is still torturing innocent souls to this day.

johnsteve

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Poster: ridetheory Date: Sep 24, 2004 1:16am
Forum: movie_of_the_week Subject: Re: Vlad the movie

Or we could just let someone pick a movie without consulting Spuzz at all.

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Poster: Spuzz Date: Sep 24, 2004 5:23am
Forum: movie_of_the_week Subject: Re: Vlad the movie

Or just make this into a random (non archive) movie review forum...

:)

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Poster: ridetheory Date: Sep 24, 2004 7:55am
Forum: movie_of_the_week Subject: Re: Vlad the movie

johnsteve,

I didn't mean to be rude, but the Movie of the Week is a film chosen either by one of our regulars (or randomly -- we're still ironing that out) from archive.org. We occasionally talk about other movies, but really only in the context of the selected Movie of the Week. We seem to have the most fun when the movie is either so campy that we all find things to laugh at, or if it's on a subject that one of us is passionate about.

It's kind of a cross between a book group and a gathering of AV geeky MST3K fans.


This post was modified by ridetheory on 2004-09-24 14:55:23